Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Another Day in Argentina - A Letter

Went to La Recoleta. This is mainly a large cemetery, which is not a place I would usually visit but it featured in all the guide books and was recommended by our taxi driver. We walked there from the hotel. Passed a few people sleeping in the street, whole families in some cases, which is never a comfortable experience. The only other place that I have passed homeless children is Mumbai.
Found La Recoleta, in the middle of a park with market stalls. Was glad the family weren't with me to complain about me liking spooky places and not being 'normal'. I thought of you - you would've have spent hours taking photographs at strange angles with clever close-ups. I just snapped a few pictures, none of which really captured the atmosphere.
The cemetery is huge, like a small village of monuments and booths. Some had steps leading down, littered with soiled bags, empty bottles, coated in dust and cobwebs. Some had coffins stacked in view of the doorway covered in white lace cloths. Some coffins were crumbling, threatening to spill their contents, others were pristine, polished oak with shiny fixtures. The booths were white marble, grey granite, weathered stone and black steel gates. There were lots of statues and angels and domes. A little like miniature cathedrals, with the dead being worshipped rather than God.
It was a little incongruous, after passing families of homeless people. I am a tourist here, I don't know what help is available, but at a glance it looked as if the dead have better shelter than the poor.
We saw the tomb where Evita is buried, and several other dignitaries, then we left.
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Went to La Biela, a traditional coffee house just outside the cemetery, opposite a giant ancient gum tree. It had a motor racing theme due to being a favourite spot in the 1950's for drivers and fans. There was memorabilia on the walls and spanners carved into the chair backs. It had a lovely traditional Argentinian feel, we could've stayed there for hours.
We drank coffee sprinkled with cinnamon, which tasted almost of oregano and ate 'alfajor', which were shortbread biscuits filled with dolce leche. The cafe was empty when we arrived at 9:30 and was full by 10am - lots of well maintained elderly Argentinians and young tourists. You would have liked it there.
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Ate a very late lunch in a parilla (name for a steak restaurant.) Walked from hotel heading south, along narrow streets littered with blankets reserving sites for the homeless, dog mess and broken pavements. The houses on either side were a muddle of faded villas with gargoyles and balconies and modern apartment blocks. We passed a burnt out theatre, a derelict mansion and tiny newsagents. Buenos Aires is growing on me - perhaps you need more than a day here before you notice it properly.
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Arrived at Chiquilin in Calle Sarmento. Peered in window and it looked clean, so went in and sat in a corner table, under oil paintings and bottles of wine on shelves below the low ceiling. Ate more steak than the whole family would normally eat at home. All the restaurants here have an abundance of waiters dressed in black and white, most of whome seem to either speak English or understand my very bad Spanish.
Walked back to hotel. Exhausted but pleased with the day.

IMG_4227The Opera House





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Probably not the best place to post letters.
The city seemed full of derelict post boxes!











Take care,
Love, Anne x
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Monday, 2 May 2016

Buenos Aires - A Letter to my Sister

As we flew into Buenos Aires, the horizon was red with dawn. A beautiful end to a 14 hour flight.
I was slightly worried going through immigration as I had been given a form to complete on the plane (at 2am). I managed the name and address bits but when it started asking about the make and series of my mobile, I gave up - 'iPhone, very old', was the best I could manage. Husband assured me that we only needed one per household and he had done one. No one ever asked for it anyway, so was an unnecessary worry.
On the way to the hotel, we passed a demonstration. They had blocked two lanes of the road (the roads here are really wide) and they had banners (which were in Spanish, so I couldn't read them.) People had just abandoned their cars in the road and gone to join them. Our driver said this happens a lot.
The hotel, Park Tower, is right next to The English Tower. Our taxi driver said this was because it was a gift from the English. The guidebook said it was because it looks like Big Ben. It doesn't.
Opposite is the war memorial for the Falklands War (interesting choice of position.) The politics are complicated, the fact that so many young men died is heartbreaking, whatever your nationality.
We looked around Galerias Pacifico, which used to be an art gallery but is now a shopping mall. The walls were beautifully decorated. The shops were just shops, so didn't spend long in there.
We ate empanachas for supper. They are like mini fried pasties. Go well with beer.
IMG_4113IMG_4112 English Clock and war memorial.




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The night wasn't terrible and I want to keep to UK time as it's such a short trip. We ordered room service coffee at 4am. The coffee here is very dark, the milk tastes like evaporated milk, so you don't want much. The room service menu has a separate price list. I'm guessing this is because inflation is currently 25%, so it saves them reprinting the whole menu every time prices go up. It was quite a challenge to get Argentinian currency before we came, and no one will buy it back from us when we go home. Most places accept credit cards or US dollars.
We walked to Casa Rosada, where Evita made her impassioned speeches from the balcony. I can't tell you how much it was enhanced by Husband singing all the Lloyd Webber songs in my ear, very loudly and slightly off-key. The palace is pink - according to the guide book this is because it's painted in cow's blood. I wish I hadn't known that, think I will stop reading guide book and make up my own reasons for things.
Crossed several major roads (multi-lane roads are a feature of Argentina. They do have lights to help you cross though.) Saw a bridge which is meant to resemble Tango dancers. Husband suggested we could strike a Tango pose and take selfies. We didn't.
Walked along a river. Even in quite expensive areas, there are people sleeping rough under blankets. They didn't ask for money, they were just bundled up under shop awnings. Sad.
We got a taxi to La Boca region. We were told in the hotel that it wasn't safe for us to wander around, but there was one street, Caminito, which was full of tourists. We saw lots of painted houses, cafes with Tango dancers and singers, lots of street art. It was nice and interesting, though not very 'real'.
I bought a cushion cover for my collection and a fridge magnet for Mum (I'm sure she'll be delighted, you can never have too many fridge magnets and this one has a bottle opener attached.)
We got a taxi back to the hotel. We were told to only take taxis that had writing on the doors. If they had writing on both front and back doors, it means they're owned by a company, so they are the best ones. They have a light at the front which tells you when they're free. There are loads of taxis, so it was easy.
Went back and showered. The hotel's bathroom products are called 'Wine and Beauty'. They smell of wine. It's not unpleasant, but I do feel a bit like I've washed my hair in a bottle of Chardonnay. It reminds me of when, as a teenager, I used to rinse my hair in vinegar because someone told me it would give me ginger highlights, and when it rained I smelt like a chip shop.
Went to bed at 6:30 (10:30 UK time.) Husband has muttered about my time plan very little. I will write again tomorrow and let you know what else we see.
Take care,
Love, Anne x
IMG_4134IMG_4139 Casa Rosada



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 Tango bridge





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IMG_4170 La Boca

IMG_4205 A 'good' taxi, with writing on both doors.











You can read my sister’s letter at :
http://ruthdalyauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/reasons-for-having-messy-house-letters.html
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Monday, 18 April 2016

A letter to my sister : letter 50

Thanks for your letter, I was so glad to hear that my nephew is like me (and I expect that he is delighted too.) I was a bit surprised to hear that you were eating sandwiches at the airport though. When I got home I checked how many scones were left in my freezer.......hmmm, hope you enjoyed them.
Have you had any good laughs lately? The funniest thing I saw recently was a friend's post on Facebook. A lot of churches at Easter like to do feet washing (reminds them that Jesus taught us to be humble, serve others, etc. Has never appealed to me.) Anyway, one church decided to change it slightly, so decided to wash wellington boots instead. Unfortunately they got the sign wrong and advertised to do "Willie Washing"! Made me laugh for ages. There are a number of jokes that could be added to this, but Mum reads these letters, so I'll hold back.
Do you remember listening to Dad play the piano at night while we were trying to go to sleep? - I could always tell what kind of day he'd had by what he chose to play! I love it now when I hear the kids playing the piano, it takes me right back.
Last week we went to cousin Will Todd's music performance. He is quite well known now amongst people who like classical music (he composed the music for the Queen's Jubilee, stuff like that.) Our children seem to have inherited something of the music gene, though it bypassed husband and me.
I have evidence of this in husband's case because we own a cassette recording from his childhood when his talented cousins came to visit. They are all playing various instruments. Husband is playing the drum/biscuit tin. You hear the adults dutifully applause and say how good it was, then one tactfully wonders if "we could hear it again without the drums....?" Will is now an (almost famous) composer, husband is an accountant. Figures.
I didn't really know Will until we were living in the US and he came to visit. We had just bought a clunky old piano for Daughter to have lessons on. Will arrived and started to play and the three children all crowded round him. They asked him to "play something happy/sad/princess music/tree music," and Will dutifully modified his tune to whatever they called out, composing as he played. It was brilliant!
The recital in London was lovely. We started with champagne, so I was slightly worried that Husband might become talkative or (worse) fall asleep during the performance. But he behaved very well. Actually, falling asleep was unlikely because the seats were very hard. Uncomfortable seating is a feature of music concerts I feel. They tend to be held in over-crowded school halls or stuffy concert halls. Perhaps it's done on purpose to stop reluctant fathers from having a sneaky snooze.
I do think that singing at that level must be the MOST scary job ever. They stand there, watched intently, and they have to just open their mouths and blast forth the correct note. Sometimes two of them started at once, no accompanying music, nowhere to hide if one of them was slightly off key. They weren't, it was perfect, but I cannot imagine the pressure that they must be under. Such potential for big time embarrassment.
It must also be difficult to know what facial expression to adopt. The men tended to go for serious expressions, only their eye-brows really changing. The women tended to more 'act' the music, their whole posture reflecting what they were singing. Difficult to not over-do it I would imagine.
Being a conductor must also be a bit weird. Everyone watches your back. I must mention this to Will next time I see him - checking your face in the mirror is fairly unnecessary, much more important to ask someone to check that your collar is straight at the back. And that you have combed the back of your hair.
Not that I am ever likely to be asked to do either. I well remember that sad day when my daughter grew old enough to appreciate music and whispered, "Please don't sing mummy."
Take care,
Love, Anne x
PS. Some eggs hatched. The 'early cracker' actually took two days to hatch. The duckling then helped the next one out of the egg, lots of cheeping and pecking. So cute. They look much bigger than the eggs when they dry off and fluff up a bit.
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You can read my sister’s letter at :
 http://ruthdalyauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/airports-delays-and-flying-letters-to.html
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Will Todd and Ducklings : A letter to my sister

Thanks for your letter, I was so glad to hear that my nephew is like me (and I expect that he is delighted too.) I was a bit surprised to hear that you were eating sandwiches at the airport though. When I got home I checked how many scones were left in my freezer…….hmmm, hope you enjoyed them.
Have you had any good laughs lately? The funniest thing I saw recently was a friend’s post on Facebook. A lot of churches at Easter like to do feet washing (reminds them that Jesus taught us to be humble, serve others, etc. Has never appealed to me.) Anyway, one church decided to change it slightly, so decided to wash wellington boots instead. Unfortunately they got the sign wrong and advertised to do “Willie Washing”! Made me laugh for ages. There are a number of jokes that could be added to this, but Mum reads these letters, so I’ll hold back.
Do you remember listening to Dad play the piano at night while we were trying to go to sleep? – I could always tell what kind of day he’d had by what he chose to play! I love it now when I hear the kids playing the piano, it takes me right back.
Last week we went to cousin Will Todd’s music performance. He is quite well known now amongst people who like classical music (he composed the music for the Queen’s Jubilee, stuff like that.) Our children seem to have inherited something of the music gene, though it bypassed husband and me.
I have evidence of this in husband’s case, because we own a cassette recording from his childhood, when his talented cousins came to visit. They are all playing various instruments. Husband is playing the drum/biscuit tin. You hear the adults dutifully applause and say how good it was, then one tactfully wonders if “we could hear it again without the drums….?” Will is now an (almost famous) composer, husband is an accountant. Figures.
I didn’t really know Will until we were living in the US and he came to visit. We had just bought a clunky old piano for Daughter to have lessons on. Will arrived and started to play and the three children all crowded round him. They asked him to “play something happy/sad/princess music/tree music,” and Will dutifully modified his tune to whatever they called out, composing as he played. It was brilliant!
The recital in London was lovely. We started with champagne, so I was slightly worried that Husband might become talkative or (worse) fall asleep during the performance. But he behaved very well. Actually, falling asleep was unlikely because the seats were very hard. Uncomfortable seating is a feature of music concerts I feel. They tend to be held in over-crowded school halls or stuffy concert halls. Perhaps it’s done on purpose to stop reluctant fathers from having a sneaky snooze.
I do think that singing at that level must be the MOST scary job ever. They stand there, watched intently, and they have to just open their mouths and blast forth the correct note. Sometimes two of them started at once, no accompanying music, nowhere to hide if one of them was slightly off key. They weren’t, it was perfect, but I cannot imagine the pressure that they must be under. Such potential for big time embarrassment.
It must also be difficult to know what facial expression to adopt. The men tended to go for serious expressions, only their eye-brows really changing. The women tended to more ‘act’ the music, their whole posture reflecting what they were singing. Difficult to not over-do it I would imagine.
Being a conductor must also be a bit weird. Everyone watches your back. I must mention this to Will next time I see him – checking your face in the mirror is fairly unnecessary, much more important to ask someone to check that your collar is straight at the back. And that you have combed the back of your hair.
Not that I am ever likely to be asked to do either. I well remember that sad day when my daughter grew old enough to appreciate music and whispered, “Please don’t sing mummy.”
Take care,
Love, Anne x
PS. Some eggs hatched. The ‘early cracker’ actually took two days to hatch. The duckling then helped the next one out of the egg, lots of cheeping and pecking. So cute. They look much bigger than the eggs when they dry off and fluff up a bit.
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They are folded up so tightly inside the egg, it takes them a while to straighten up.
IMG_4083They look a bit dead when they first emerge.
IMG_4089Two ducklings fluffed up after an hour and started running around.
IMG_4092 IMG_4096Two chicks hatched the following day.
I think the other eggs had died, so I waited a day and then threw them away.
You can read my sister’s letter at :
 http://ruthdalyauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/airports-delays-and-flying-letters-to.html
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Thank you for reading.
If you enjoyed this, why not sign up to follow my blog?
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Friday, 15 April 2016

How to Train a Dog with Opinions

How to Train a Dog with Opinions
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     This article is aimed at people who, like me, prefer life to be easy and who own a dominant, intelligent dog. It is possible to train a dog to complete obedience (I know, I went to the classes and watched other people) but it takes either a lot of time or a degree of cruelty. If you are someone who always revised for exams when you were at school, (and probably weren’t the middle child in a family) then this article is not for you.
     My qualification for writing this article is that I grew up with a border collie dog and I now own a german shepherd dog and sometimes we manage to fool complete strangers into commenting that she is very obedient. Both the dog and I know that this is not true, but we work together to give a good impression. I also have raised two boys. Apart from the chewing furniture part, I think most of the advice probably applies to parenting boys too.
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     My main suggestion is that you let the dog train you. She will try to do this any way and it is much easier if you just give in. The trick is to pretend that you are slightly dumb (not difficult in some cases) and only learn the things that you want to learn. Your dog will go to great lengths to teach you. So, when my dog wants to come inside, she barks. I do not want her to bark and therefore I do not respond to this. After a while, the dog will realise that I am too stupid to understand her bark, so will stop. When she is sitting quietly by the door, I open it. She will then train me to repeat this action by sitting next to the door whenever she wants to come in.
     The same principle works with sticks. If my dog tries to train me to throw a stick by bringing it near enough for me to reach and then running away with it, I ignore her. After a while, she realises that I am too stupid to play the ‘chase you round the garden trying to get the stick’ game and so she will sit next to it. When she sits next to the stick and waits, I pick it up and throw it. She then knows that she has trained me to do this and when she wants the stick thrown, she will sit patiently next to it and and wait for me to respond.
     I also did this when going for walks on the lead. When she pulled me, I refused to ‘learn’ that this meant “Go forwards” and I stood still. When she was waiting next to me, I moved forward. She soon realised that I was ‘unable’ to walk while she was pulling and would only move forwards if I was leading.
     Dogs chase things. It is very difficult to stop them. We live on farm land and when I first got my dog, the farmer suggested that I put her in with a ewe. A dog who has been tossed by a ewe does not chase sheep. (I think this is how farmers train their dogs.) I was not prepared to risk broken bones and pain for my puppy, so I decided to not do this. I am now very careful to ensure that she is always on the lead near farm animals. She is pretty good as she has regularly walked with me through fields of animals, but I do not trust her and so keep her on the lead.
     I did however follow the farmer’s advice with our cats. I allowed our puppy to experience first hand what an adult cat is capable of. She acquired a sore nose and the understanding that cats do not like to be chased.
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Learning about cats.
Now, when I introduce kittens to her, she is always very submissive and polite (I think she is not entirely sure if they are bigger than her.)
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     You also need to be aware of the dog’s innate needs. When a dog is young she will go through a teething period, just like a young child. She will need to chew something to stop her jaws aching. If you do not provide something, she will chew your furniture, shoes and bags. Give her something she is allowed to chew on. I find those raw hide chews are good, though you need to keep an eye on them so they don’t choke if they pull bits off.
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     Puppies have small bladders. They need to be given a place to wee. Do be careful though. I know someone who trained their dog to toilet on newspaper. Then one day, when having breakfast, he went to answer the door. When he returned, his newspaper on the breakfast table had a poop on it! If you train an intelligent dog to do something, they will learn it well. ‘Unlearning’ is pretty difficult.
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     Big dogs need a fair amount of exercise. If you are not prepared to do this, don’t get a large dog. You do not need to do as much exercise yourself (though it might not be a bad idea in some cases.) You can throw sticks for them to fetch, either up a hill or into water so they have to swim to retrieve it.
     Most intelligent dogs were bred to be working dogs. They therefore need to ‘work’. No, you don’t need to buy a flock of sheep, but you do need to provide some stimulation. Hide things for them to find, take them on long walks, throw sticks in places that are difficult to reach. You can buy a toy that holds dog biscuits which are awkward for them to get out. A bored dog will find their own amusement and that is generally not good.
     Have very few rules and then stick to them rigidly. There are some rooms in my house which my dogs are not allowed in. Ever. Not even a foot. If they start to come in, I say no in a ‘barky’ voice (they are dogs, they understand tone better than words.) I do not shut the doors, I do not put up a fence, they just know that they are not allowed in those rooms. Dogs understand territory. My dog gets very cross when my husband goes into those rooms, as she considers herself far above him in the pecking order, but she will merely sit at the door and swear at him, she knows that she cannot come in.
     The only time she ever broke this rule was after I came home after surgery and stayed in bed for a few days and she sneaked upstairs to see if I was there. I had never realised before that a dog can tiptoe! She looked so guilty when she was spotted that she practically leaped down the stairs.
     Dogs generally have very good hearing. You do not need to shout. I never understand why so many owners yell at their dogs. If you say something and your dog ignores you, it is not because she has not heard! If you say something many times, you are teaching your dog that she does not need to obey you until you have said it at least six times. Say it once. If your dog ignores you, get up and leave. Your dog is much too nosey/bossy to let you leave without her. When she follows you, take her back and tell her again, once. If you call her when you are out and she does not return, then walk away. Do not keep calling. Your dog will not let you get lost, she will come when you start to leave.
     Do not give ‘mixed messages’. If you feed your dog when you are eating, you cannot then expect her to know that she cannot always help herself from your plate/table. If you are happy sharing food, then fine. If not, then only ever feed your dog in her own bowl in a specific place. As I said before, dogs understand territory, we just need to be consistent. If she even puts her nose up to the table top, tell her “No,” not even ‘nearly’ is allowed.
     An intelligent dog will have opinions and there is little we can do to change those. My daughter has a friend who my dog hates. He seems a perfectly nice person but she barks and snarls whenever he visits. I do not know why (but am beginning to be a little suspicious of him myself now.)
     My dog also hates pigeons. She also hates the other dog who appears every evening at the dark glass door (she has never really got the hang of reflections.)
     As for hitting your dog: don’t. It wont achieve anything good. I do sometimes shout abuse at my dog (I am only human and sometimes I get angry.) She just looks at me with her superior “she has lost it” expression. (As I said before, it is a lot like parenting boys. Dogs cannot roll their eyes.) She certainly does not learn anything useful. I do not however hit my dog. I cannot see how inflicting pain will achieve anything. My vet once told me to smack my labrador with a rolled up newspaper, saying it would create a loud noise but not hurt her. I did. It did not change her behaviour. Mind you, she is a labrador. She does not have opinions. I love her dearly but am suspicious that the only thought that ever enters her head is, “Can I eat that?”
     Usually I am very grateful for my german shepherd’s opinions. When we are walking in a secluded place and a man approaches and my dog eyes him suspiciously and growls very quietly so he gives us a lot of space, I am pleased. When travellers come to try and sell me a new driveway and my dog snarls at them so they head back to their van before they have even finished speaking, I am pleased.There are also random people who my dog is always delighted to meet and she dances around them in joy. I am beginning to think they must be very nice people.
     My dog is completely sure of her superiority. So when my mother took her for a walk and could not work out how to attach the harness properly, my dog walked patiently next to her, giving her many looks to convey, “You did this wrong so I will walk very close to you in case it falls off.”
     She gets very angry when wild ducks come to visit our pond and comes to tell me. She is also not too happy when we have bulls in the field next door and spends a lot of time checking they stay on their side of the hedge.
     If you own a dog with opinions, you will have a faithful friend who is brilliant company and very forgiving of all your mistakes (and they will notice every single one.) Sometimes my family complain that I love my dog more than I love them. Let’s just hope I never have to choose between them.........
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Thursday, 14 April 2016

Henry Wants to Fight

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Henry Wants to Fight

It was a beautiful summer’s day. Annie was in the aviary, feeding the chickens. They all crowded round her, pecking at the corn and kicking it around. They were very messy eaters! Annie sat on the clean hay and watched them. It was a very happy group.
Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain on her arm. “Ow!” she said and jumped up. Next to her was Henry, one of the cockerels. He had fluffed up his feathers, stretched out his neck, and was hopping from side to side. He wanted a fight. Annie stood up very quickly and went back to the house.
Every day after that, whenever Henry saw someone, he would try to peck them. It hurt. Annie had a big bruise on her arm. He tried to peck Annie. He tried to peck the boys. He tried to peck Husband. He tried to peck the girl. They were all very cross. When he tried to peck them, they would push him away with their boot. This made Henry worse. He would make himself very tall and dance from side to side.
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Once, Husband went to kick him. Henry then did a flying jump, trying to claw Husband. On Henry’s legs were very sharp claws, like knives. If they had touched Husband, they would have cut him. Husband got the garden rake and used it to keep Henry away.
Henry was a problem. If anyone wanted to go into the garden, they had to take the rake with them. They could push Henry away with the rake, so he couldn’t hurt them.
Annie was worried. She asked her friends what she should do. Some friends said she should lock up Henry in a cage, then he couldn’t hurt anyone. Some friends said she should send Henry to a different garden to live. Some friends said she should give Henry a big kick. Some friends said she should eat him.
Annie didn’t like any of these ideas. She decided to look on the internet. She found someone else who had a problem with a cockerel who wanted to fight. She read lots of information. She learnt what to do.
The next time that Annie went into the garden, Henry came running over. He started to do his special fighting dance. Annie folded his wings into his sides and picked him up. She tucked him under her arm. Now Henry knew that Annie was bigger than him. Then, while Annie fed the chickens and changed their water and checked the ducks, she kept Henry tucked under her arm. Now Henry knew that Annie was bigger than him AND that she did not want to fight. When Annie put Henry back on the grass, he ran away.
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For a few days, Annie picked up Henry whenever she went into the garden. Henry stopped trying to attack Annie. Annie told her family what she had learned. When Henry did his funny dance, he was saying, “Do you want to fight?” If they pushed him away, he thought they were saying, “Yes, I want a fight.”
Cockerels are bad fighters. They never stop the fight until someone has won. Sometimes this means they kill each other. The family had to teach Henry not to fight them. They had to show him that they were bigger but they did not want to fight.
Then Henry stopped trying to attack them. He went back to pecking the corn with the other chickens and walking around the garden with the cats and the dogs. Everyone was happy again.
When someone wants to hurt us, it is hard to not fight back, it is hard to forgive people. We need to ask God to help us know what to do.
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